Monday, October 29, 2012


You just gotta "believe."
I've said it. 
You've said it. 
Easier said then done. 

A little over a year ago I was at an all woman's service standing in the alters. I had went for prayer with my boys on my heart. When the pastors wife approached me she stopped and said "I feel the spirit of the Lord saying to you 'BELIEVE!' If you would just have faith and 'BELIEVE!'" 

Honestly, I was a little taken back. I know the Lord spoke to me that night, but what he was addressing was so much deeper than what I was approaching Him with. I thought to myself  "Lord, I believe in you. I have faith. I trust you... I don't understand."

I find myself at times being a little too "real" with myself. The realist in me will factor in statistics and numbers and the likelihood of the result and in that I will shrink God into whatever nominal factor that will fit into the equation. In that I will trust in an outcome that seems reasonable to the circumstance. 

Its easy to believe when you lower your expectations to something that wont be as devastating if the outcome fails you. Your lowering your standards on who God is.

Shame is stirring inside even as I write. I don't like that I fall repeatedly back into this...

In my prayers I find myself saying "I believe God that you can do this" but I walk away thinking "but I don't think you will." 

Conviction falls on me as I'm reminded of all the "limited" prayers I've prayed. 

Thank you Lord for your GRACE. When fear makes my image of you distorted, you show up REGARDLESS and answer prayers in the midst of my doubt. 

When I think of Sophia, I think of this. When I think of all my children, I think of this. 

When I was first told about Sophia's Cleft lip and the array of speculation, I walked around constantly praying "Lord if you would just show up one more time. Just one more time. I will never ask anything again, just one more time." I was struggling as to who He was and what I believed Him to be. And He would remind me "If you would just believe." 

"Believe that I can miraculously heal a child inside the womb.
Believe that I can loose a child's tongue and heal their mind.  
Believe that I can replace a missing chromosome. 
Don't reject My will for your life and let it effect your faith. 
Believe in My will for you life.
For their lives."

And as I remind myself, I wanna remind you too: 
Don't limit Gods power in your life. Don't limit your expectations of Him. "BELIEVE!"